It’s nice to be here
I want to know your deepest darkest truth…
your happy truth
your frightened truth
your broken truth
your crazy truth
your rebel truth
your fantasy truth
your thankful truth
your human truth
Dear self. When you feel like a sick, prick with no direction, read this.
- Read things that you’ve written. – this is your trail of breadcrumbs, your way back home.
- Drink more water.
- Take your mind herbs – your nervous system is likely a whirling mess (especially if it’s Autumn) Take care of your brain and it will take care of you.
- Long showers & candle light & self massage – you’re craving the sweet taste.. but really you know you’re craving love, touch, and warmth.
- Don’t forget to feel – stop chasing “info” & “facts” and just fucking feel. “Know what you know, and if you don’t know something, know that its okay because it is the truth.” – Melody Beattie
- Remember this is temporary – this may be what is true for you right now, but it is not all there is. “The truth will set you free…but first it will piss you off.” – Gloria Steinem
- Drink Chamomile tea.
- Eat food that is Alive – that means there is still a shred of life in it, it hasn’t been processed to death or over cooked. Life energy gives way to life energy – if you are feeling dead inside, don’t add more dead stuff to the mix.
- Write – just write, even if its just a stupid list telling you what you already know (especially if what you know is gratitude.)
- Reach out – write a letter, go to a meeting, send the same text to dozens of people in a desperate, honest, abrupt attempt to know you aren’t alone – send the message you would like to receive. We get what we give. (Hey _____ (one or all/any people I know) Hope you are doing awesome shit and taking good care of yourself. I really appreciate you.)
- Go outside – or at the very least, LOOK outside. (the natural world is honest and longing to show you what’s real)
- Don’t (just don’t) expect to know anything right now – this includes: what you’re doing, who you are, or where you’re going… “And I’ll be the most beautiful in this moment… or the most cynical and strange, I can always rearrange, I can always find myself just how I am.”
- Deep belly breathing (deep breaths for a young (wo)man learning)
- Stick to as many of your rituals as you can. (remember gratitude first thing in the A.M. work when it’s time to work, eat when it’s time to eat, dance when it’s time to dance, honor your quiet time rule after dinner, take your vitamins, brush your teeth, consult your planner)
- Ponder the notion that Life is just a ride at some cosmic amusement park…
- Find your most extreme feeling and counter it – If you feel cold (cold hands, cold thoughts, cold heart) give yourself warmth (hot tea, warm stories, self massage) If you’re feeling crazy – go to what/where you feel stability (a straight line, hang out with rocks, tree pose) If you feel unorganized and full of too much distraction – go to what/where you feel is quiet or systematic (your planner, the library, sweep the floors) etc.. “Immerse yourself in the energy of what you most desire” – Hiro Boga
- Go to your guides – trust in signs, talk less & listen more, see what your superstars are saying – open your favorite book of daily meditations or poetry to a random page and read it.
- Remember gratitude.
- Fall face first into the pillows and scream – then burn some sage and say “thanks.”
- Stop taking yourself so seriously – for today, remove every label you have ever applied to yourself except HUMAN and STUDENT.
- Commit to asking yourself these questions a week from now – for now just collect the information you’ll use to answer them.
- Listen to your PMS playlist -Songs for when you need to relax and remember that you are AMAZING and life is about learning and growing.
“So many times I’ve wondered where I’ve gone, and how I found my way back in.” – Norah Jones
With Love & Light,
Your truest Self
Because there’s only light,
as we dance between the leaves.
And the flowers bow their heavy heads
with the strength and courage
of full blooms.
We follow paths that twist and shrink
like the ones that traverse
our own minds and hearts.
And discover as we walk in single file
our majestic blooming selves.
Because there’s only light.
And it glimmers through the trees
as it does our fingers.
And emanates from dreams
and off our skin.
We learn to savoir the taste of the
And the scent of the lilacs.
Their kiss awakening
the stories of every former midnight sun,
of every dream that reached through a dark night
to burst into its final
Once I held my breath
And waited patiently
As though that would make me a saint
I rejected beauty where it was in the form
Of gruesomeness and pain
Thinking I could pull God apart
And discover her love
Somehow separate from the rest of her body
A body that I have begun
To know better now
Like I’d know my own
Aware of the places that hurt
And the places that excite and cry out in ecstasy.
Her body is perfectly flawed
And irrevocably Holy
Her beauty encompassing
All that is “pure” and all that is “lost”
And equalizing them with a single breath
A breath I do not hold so much any more
With no attempts of capturing it
A breath that yields to every breath
That ever danced before or after it
Bringing me home to the oneness
Of her whole body
A body that begs to understand itself
The way I trace my abdomen and hips
With my fingers hoping to fully embrace
The magic and wonder
Of my seemingly separate body
Hoping to capture the whisper
Of my “highest” potential and grace
As if it weren’t marbled into my whole essence
As if I weren’t just another piece of her
Whole perfectly flawed body
Earth mothers know what it takes
to give and keep on giving.
And watch with love and acceptance
each seed her children are planting
Earth mothers know the selfless act
of letting go
And smile with faith and patience
as her children reap the seeds they sow,
and become certain they know so much
and forget how to listen, or at times lose touch.
Earth mothers know how to keep the connection strong
and pull her children close like gravity
to a place they know for sure that they belong.
Earth mothers know that disaster is a part of the cycle
and that what remains is always stronger after
because beneath the remnants of what “was”
is the truth of what really is.
Earth mothers know the pureness of tears,
like the rain that washes over pain.
And reveals the rainbow colors of change…that hug the edges of the light
that otherwise you might not know is there
Earth mothers know the lure of the moon.
And the introspective language of the stars.
And urge temples and lincoln log towers to reach towards the sky
where her children may look upward and outward and
somehow end up back inside themselves.
Earth mothers know how to gently stir her children awake.
And point them towards a sun that blinds them with love,
introduce them to forests that show them that to grow
everything else must also grow,
and to Earth Mother herself who has taught a mother all she knows.
Today I will be
with love and laughter
and silent intention
that weighs warm and heavy in the air
affording, if only just a moment
of space well held
For a stranger, for a friend, for myself
A space where less is more
and meanings are louder than words
and conversations are felt not heard
and sounds and glances glitter
modestly on top
like stars sprinkled upon a vast darkness of truth and infinity
– Big Love, Kenzie