Messengers

It’s nice to be here

Knowing nothing
And expecting everything
to come of it.
Watching the ravens & magpies
Experiment with each other
Their black and blue feathers
Rebelling against the white-out world
Covered in snow & sympathy
Messengers of Failure’s mascaraed
As they attempt
Their tricks
Vigorously
Endlessly
Until finally
One swoop delivers them to victory.
And just as they did, their failure,
they accept their fortune
No questions
No need to define it as tangible
Just truth
promises to repeat their damning ways, trusting faithfully in their own
persistence
Until they have completed their work in the world.

The, when you need wholeness, love and clarity LIST


Dear self. When you feel like a sick, prick with no direction, read this.

  • Read things that you’ve written. – this is your trail of breadcrumbs, your way back home.
  • Drink more water.
  • Take your mind herbs – your nervous system is likely a whirling mess (especially if it’s Autumn) Take care of your brain and it will take care of you.
  • Long showers & candle light & self massage – you’re craving the sweet taste.. but really you know you’re craving love, touch, and warmth.
  • Don’t forget to feel – stop chasing “info” & “facts” and just fucking feel. “Know what you know, and if you don’t know something, know that its okay because it is the truth.” – Melody Beattie
  • Remember this is temporary – this may be what is true for you right now, but it is not all there is. “The truth will set you free…but first it will piss you off.” – Gloria Steinem
  • Dance.
  • Drink Chamomile tea.
  • Eat food that is Alive – that means there is still a shred of life in it, it hasn’t been processed to death or over cooked. Life energy gives way to life energy – if you are feeling dead inside, don’t add more dead stuff to the mix.
  • Write – just write, even if its just a stupid list telling you what you already know (especially if what you know is gratitude.)
  • Reach out – write a letter, go to a meeting, send the same text to dozens of people in a desperate, honest, abrupt attempt to know you aren’t alone – send the message you would like to receive. We get what we give. (Hey _____ (one or all/any people I know) Hope you are doing awesome shit and taking good care of yourself. I really appreciate you.)
  • Go outside – or at the very least, LOOK outside. (the natural world is honest and longing to show you what’s real)
  • Don’t (just don’t) expect to know anything right now – this includes: what you’re doing, who you are, or where you’re going… “And I’ll be the most beautiful in this moment… or the most cynical and strange, I can always rearrange, I can always find myself just how I am.”
  • Deep belly breathing (deep breaths for a young (wo)man learning)
  • Stick to as many of your rituals as you can. (remember gratitude first thing in the A.M. work when it’s time to work, eat when it’s time to eat, dance when it’s time to dance, honor your quiet time rule after dinner, take your vitamins, brush your teeth, consult your planner)
  • Ponder the notion that Life is just a ride at some cosmic amusement park…
  • Find your most extreme feeling and counter it – If you feel cold (cold hands, cold thoughts, cold heart) give yourself warmth (hot tea, warm stories, self massage) If you’re feeling crazy – go to what/where you feel stability (a straight line, hang out with rocks, tree pose) If you feel unorganized and full of too much distraction – go to what/where you feel is quiet or systematic (your planner, the library, sweep the floors) etc.. “Immerse yourself in the energy of what you most desire” – Hiro Boga
  • Go to your guides – trust in signs, talk less & listen more, see what your superstars are saying – open your favorite book of daily meditations or poetry to a random page and read it.
  • Remember gratitude.
  • Fall face first into the pillows and scream – then burn some sage and say “thanks.”
  • Stop taking yourself so seriously – for today, remove every label you have ever applied to yourself except HUMAN and STUDENT.
  • Commit to asking yourself these questions a week from now – for now just collect the information you’ll use to answer them.
  • Listen to your PMS playlist -Songs for when you need to relax and remember that you are AMAZING and life is about learning and growing.

“So many times I’ve wondered where I’ve gone, and how I found my way back in.” – Norah Jones

With Love & Light,

Your truest Self

Solstice

Because there’s only light,

as we dance between the leaves.

And the flowers bow their heavy heads

with the strength and courage

of full blooms.

 

We follow paths that twist and shrink

like the ones that traverse

our own minds and hearts.

And discover as we walk in single file

our majestic blooming selves.

 

Because there’s only light.

And it glimmers through the trees

as it does our fingers.

And emanates from dreams

and off our skin.

 

We learn to savoir the taste of the

summer air.

And the scent of the lilacs.

Their kiss awakening

the stories of every former midnight sun,

of every dream that reached through a dark night

to burst into its final

Bloom

Whole Body

Once I held my breath

And waited patiently

As though that would make me a saint

I rejected beauty where it was in the form

Of gruesomeness and pain

Thinking I could pull God apart

And discover her love

Somehow separate from the rest of her body

A body that I have begun

To know better now

Like I’d know my own

Aware of the places that hurt

And the places that excite and cry out in ecstasy.

Her body is perfectly flawed

And irrevocably Holy

Her beauty encompassing

All that is “pure” and all that is “lost”

And equalizing them with a single breath

A breath I do not hold so much any more

But savoir

With no attempts of capturing it

A breath that yields to every breath

That ever danced before or after it

Bringing me home to the oneness

Of her whole body

A body that begs to understand itself

The way I trace my abdomen and hips

With my fingers hoping to fully embrace

The magic and wonder

Of my seemingly separate body

Hoping to capture the whisper

Of my “highest” potential and grace

As if it weren’t marbled into my whole essence

As if I weren’t just another piece of her

Whole perfectly flawed body

Earth Mothers

Earth mothers know what it takes

to give and keep on giving.

And watch with love and acceptance

each seed her children are planting

Earth mothers know the selfless act

of letting go

And smile with faith and patience

as her children reap the seeds they sow,

and become certain they know so much

and forget how to listen, or at times lose touch.

Earth mothers know how to keep the connection strong

and pull her children close like gravity

to a place they know for sure that they belong.

Earth mothers know that disaster is a part of the cycle

and that what remains is always stronger after

because beneath the remnants of what “was”

is the truth of what really is.

Earth mothers know the pureness of tears,

like the rain that washes over pain.

And reveals the rainbow colors of change…that hug the edges of the light

that otherwise you might not know is there

Earth mothers know the lure of the moon.

And the introspective language of the stars.

And urge temples and lincoln log towers to reach towards the sky

where her children may look upward and outward and

somehow end up back inside themselves.

Earth mothers know how to gently stir her children awake.

And point them towards a sun that blinds them with love,

introduce them to forests that show them that to grow

everything else must also grow,

and to Earth Mother herself who has taught a mother all she knows.

Dear Zipporah

Take a look
While you are still
Take in the humor, and the irony
The twists of faith in everything
The sky upon the hill

Accept what it is, as what is
and it will be more mysterious still
but accepting it will set you free

Don’t be afraid to move around,
Till you feel your feet find solid ground
I know it’s hard to settle in sometimes
So much easier to just “survive”

Just remember change shall ever remain
Sometimes bringing diamonds dipped in pain
Or beauty deep within the darkest days

Remember, recollect and rearrange
Be what you call forth
Be the change that you endorse
Be the star that you look towards

Love, Mom