Fall

I feel like the leaf outside.

Blowing everywhere but not settling,

I can’t figure out how to settle.

I can’t figure out if I’m just supposed to go along for the ride

It seems lazy and unproductive.

It feels right but it seems wrong

And  I feel like the moon.

New and hungry for my potential to shine.

Perhaps I should drink tea

And read books and just wait for something to come to me

Wait to drift down and know.

Now tho I’m just riding the wind

when it comes to stalking rabbits

* Found this poem I wrote in High School while I was looking for old material for a poetry contest. Thought I’d share it. Since it’s one of the only comical poems I’ve ever written…

We had spoken before, just a short “Hello, Goodbye.”
He was kind of jumpy, but an interesting guy.
It wasn’t really stalking; I was just curious where he’d go.
It couldn’t actually be a crime, just to want to know.
Oh, those pictures I’d taken? They were only for fun.
I had to take so many, well, it was hard to get a nice one
with him always on the run.
No, I didn’t break into his house.
He mistook me for the maid,
whom I assure you, I wasn’t trying to impersonate.
I haven’t a clue how she could have gotten in my trunk.
Or, for that matter, how the car could have so strangely fallen off that cliff and sunk.
The night in question? I was at a mad party with a hatter and a hare.
I don’t know what got into me. I’m sure I just had too much tea.
I must not have realized how many messages I had left on his machine.
But I assure you I wasn’t trying to harass him.
I just had a question I needed to ask him.
And the park where I feed the birds is just so close to Mr. Rabbit’s home.
I certainly didn’t mean to loiter.
And, so you see, I really find no need for this restraining order.

 

story

There’s this story.

Underneath every thought I have,
every breath,
just waiting,
restlessly, passionately
to be real.
It’s gripping.
Keeps trying to hold me.
And kiss me.
And give me pleasure.
And security.
So there.
I said it.
It’s like this story’s got
a mind of its own
but the same soul as me.
It’s like a lie tho right now
at this point…
Because the story doesn’t match
what’s really going on.
Or does it?!
Maybe it’s not on the surface yet
that’s all.
It could be tracking me tho.
Maybe it’s creeping on me
So that when it comes knocking
at my door
I know it’s face.
And I answer with some recognition.
I open that door wide and say
Come in, I knew you’d be here.

what I know (some things I’ve learned so far):

1. I know what it’s like to have different colored days
2. I know the wash of the moon as it travels on its monthly journey
3. I know the smell of fear
4. And the whisper of faith
5. I know what it’s like to love like the Moon loves the sea, it can be a secret, subtle, lonely bliss
6. I know the break of the boards beneath my feet.
7. I know the flip of frustration
8. And the chains of stagnation
9. And the halo of bright righteous peace
10. I know what reunion feels like
11. I know what a map can cover up
12. I know the words that might turn me inside out
13. I know clinging
14. I know detachment
15. I know this moment in time is a fraction of the infinite
16. I know the more I know the less I know
17. I know I’m ready for anything, because I have to be
18. I know there’s rules in this game
19. I know it’s a game
20. I know Curiosity and I know Hunger (and they are siblings)
21. I know Passion and it’s illusive sparkle and brilliant code of suffering
22. I know the power of words
23. I know the love of a seed
24. I know the season of Grief, it is Transformation’s prerequisite
25. I know really good love is drenched in laughter
26. And mistakes and trying
27. I know singing will stop anxiety in its tracks
28. I know the seed of courage is vulnerability
29. I know 120 seasons
30. I know 30 trips around the sun

ancient heart

I am the sum of many parts
Dreams
Schemes
Curiosity
Habits
Unfinished starts
Darkness
Light
Lessons
Lies
Microcosmic might..

I am all the aspects of life,
random or otherwise
that filled the space and time
that was before this.
I am an effect of a Greater cause.
I am a factor in Universal law.
And a genuine expression of History’s performance thus far.

Its highest highs and lowest lows,
its timeless beauty its endless woes,
Its long tales and its short tales,
its inhales and its exhales,
its every person and every place,
its many failures, its saving grace,
its primal instinct to evolve,
to play, to solve.

I am a microcosm.
bound to the pattern of life
No getting out of it.
Still tho,
I am a new thing,
And so are you.
never like this before
a door to a brand new world
Part masterpiece
Part mess, none the less
here to create what IS possible
As the sum of many parts
Just Like Levi said…
My future has an ancient heart…

5 Ways to Wake up Without Caffeine

We all have to get up sometime. Some days it’s easier than others. We wake up we stumble through the house like Zombies to the shrine our coffee pot lives on or the instant water heater and stacks of black tea. The caffeine kiss bringing us back to life like “true-loves “ lips. Then there are those of us that can make it up and out of the house fully functional on just the notion that caffeine is waiting loyally for us in the near future, on the way to class or work , that favorite coffee hut or faithful gas-station energy drink. For some this is a tactic in motivation, to assure that we get up at all and go to that very early destination. I’ve used this tactic myself and it was very effective until that fateful day, that I kept missing my opportunity and my coffee break never came. The coffee hut was robbed and/or burned down, I was too frustrated and indecisive to pick a new coffee hut, “they might not get my cryptic drink order right and then that would really be it” (The only thing worse than no coffee is the wrong coffee!), can’t go to holiday or micky-dees cause I’m too much of a coffee snob.. So I had to face it.. It wasn’t going to happen that day and I felt defeated.. “This is ridiculous, I’m a monster,” I thought. I have to try to quite caffeine..again (Like I have done hundreds of other times.) I am not saying I’ll never enjoy a London Fog or Soy Cappuccino again or slug a cold cup of black coffee desperately after losing track of time. Now I enjoy caffeine but am not depending on it to make or break my day. That’s where the following five ways to wake up without caffeine came into play:
1. Sex. We all know its works. Whether it’s partner-ed or solo, sex spikes our brain full of dopamine and oxytocin which puts us in a good mood, gets the blood flowing and the brain churning. Plus it gives you that happy “gotcha-some glow.”

2. Yoga. Start your day with five minutes of yoga. It calms your nervous system, focuses your mind and revs up your metabolism. You can do this in your bed or on the floor. Here is an easy A.M. Sequence:Seated meditation, seated side reach (each side), seated palm press, standing palm press. This gives you that moment right when you wake up to choose what you want to think about and focus on rather than just throwing yourself out of bed and straight into your racing thoughts and plans for the day. Rebalance, refocus and recharge. Then get out there and own the day!

3. Music. I made myself a Good-Morning Sunshine mix. And sometimes before the clothes even go on that jam is bumping out of the cd player, gets you moving and grooving and screaming the lyrics to the soundtrack of your favorite memories, triumphs and empowering messages!

4. Shower. Drag your stiff body into a nice hot shower first thing and let your body wake up in a gradual, soothing way. Practice self-care, make a gratitude list, or set your intentions for the day, make those shifts in attitude and thinking that will bring you up and feed your passions rather than negative notions that drag you down and stress you out. Start off clean, in body and mind.

5. Aromatherapy . Use aromatherapy in the form of essentials oils, a couple drops at the bottom of the shower, or an aromatic body wash or facial cleanser to awaken your senses and energize your mind. Or if you don’t have time to shower try an essential oils roll on or make your own. Citrus, Eucalyptus and rosemary are all great scents that motivate the nervous system.

These are only a few ways to start your day in a positive non-addictive-assholish way! What are some of your morning routines that make it easy to avoid or live without the caffeine?

 

5 Ways to End an Argument

We all know those people that just love to argue, love to get heated and “get their feelings hurt”.  I might sound insensitive, but no! The insensitive thing would be to ignore that these people exist and that their feelings matter.  First of all, if you find yourself in a situation with this sort of person, do the kind thing and give them what they want.  It’s healthy to express our selves, after all.  And you can’t end an argument that does not exist.  So, for the sake of this article we must have one.  You may be a lover not a fighter, but that doesn’t mean we are always surrounded by people alike. These people could be a best friend, a mother-in-law, a landlord, a sister, a whiny pubescent teenage time-bomb, whatever the case, I find these five tactics may lead to peaceful resolution.

Tactic # 1, Apathy:  Apathy is a wonderful expression because it is neither submissive nor threatening. Simple dismissal or lack of emotion is usually very uninteresting in an argument.  The antagonist often finds this dull and sees no point pursuing an unavailing attempt to fight with you.

Tactic # 2, Sarcasm:  The word sarcasm is derived from a Greek word meant to describe the way wild dogs tear flesh off the bones of their prey.  If you know how to use it, sarcasm is word artillery at its finest. The right comment with just enough sarcasm smeared on it will act fast and hit unexpectedly knocking the wind out of any confrontation. I would not recommend this strategy with authority figures. But for that “quippy” little preteen or adolescent, this is perfect.

Tactic # 3, Patronization:  This has proved very effective with those particular breeds of people that are right no matter what.  The question you want to stop and ask yourself in an argument with someone of this nature is “How many minutes of my life do I want to waste being unconditionally wrong?

A. Until I’m interrupted by a phone call?

B. Until the 3-4 minute song on the radio that I’m focusing all my attention to is over?

C. just long enough to realize I can’t even enjoy the song ’cause they’re talking over it?

D. Until my brain ruptures inside the skull acting as a defensive, self-destruct mechanism?

The answer is C, my friends and the solution is tell them whatever they want to hear and get on with your life.

Tactic # 4, Flattery: Flattery is your man, if you are looking for a win/win situation. You are in the middle of a meaningless squabble with your best friend, a simple complement or act of love puts you one step closer to reconciliation. Point out how nice it is that you have acquired the level of closeness necessary for this relentless bickering. Or comment on a new purse or pair of ear rings they are wearing. Not only does it make them feel good but it makes you feel good to say it.

Tactic # 5, Start to cry: Get those juices flowing. Squeeze out a few tears even better if you can pull off a full-fledged hysterical crying/breathing fit and really make them uncomfortable. Discomfort equals confusion equals defenses down. The situation may be weird for a moment but the awkward silence should end the argument effectively.

Good luck and remember peace is a choice. So love one another.