Gratitude 1/1/20

1. The rush of aliveness that comes with my spring phase.

2. Chosen silence.

3. I’m excited to breath deeply and push all the passion bubbling up inside me through my veins and finger tips and toes and beyond.

4. I’m excited about the possibilities a day does bring. The blessings and gratitude and understanding or just the light that will be shining somewhere that I feel even if I cannot see.

5. I’m excited for coffee and stretches and snacks and vitamins and making offerings of love and affection to my Earth bound body.

6. I’m excited for a late night and late morning.

7. I’m excited for meditations and visualizations that open windows and doors in the dusty, dark, and lonely rooms of my mind and let freshness and light flood in.

8. I’m excited for me. And all the time and energy and love and peace that was inherited in my seed. I’m thankful for the ways it makes me live.

9. I’m excited I might share this with someone and they could feel a connection with me and move into an empty place in my life that I’ve been saving for them.

10. I’m excited for the magic and wonder and unique texture of this day. And how it can hold me no matter what and I will not sink through or break it’s seams with any amount of my human concern. It will just hold me sure and steady and a little bit rhythmic like you hold a young thing, swaying left to right and pressing it’s little head to your chest so that it can hear and feel the strong beat of your willingness and mentorship.

11. Thank you to the Being or Beings that have picked me up and rocked me all my life.

All I need.

Tonight I drove home from work in a snow storm. The world looking like a Lite-Brite smeared behind cold glass. The snow flakes just pouring down under street lights in every direction. Sugar rain from an endless source.

And I thought to myself…
“Abundance.”

And then I felt that each snowflake that landed on my car brought something that I needed into my life. Each a solution, a blessing, or surprise.

One for a peaceful house when I get home. One for words that untie the tangles in my soul. One for the exercise my body is craving. One for every single person who will feed me their soul-chips.

Countless specks for love and laughter. Some for the music that soothes me. Some for joys, some for strength, some for ease. Some for the way through uncertainty.

On and on it went. A lifetime of everything I need landing on me. Even the things I can’t name yet or things that may never have a name. Even the things that have come and I’ve forgotten them but they left a kind of peace.

Endless, endless, endless, support in each landing. Until soon each crystal drew a whisper from my love drenched heart.

A soft and happy “Thanks.”

For Kim, Priestess of Pronoia – who taught me this concept with falling leaves.

The, when you need wholeness, love and clarity LIST


Dear self. When you feel like a sick, prick with no direction, read this.

  • Read things that you’ve written. – this is your trail of breadcrumbs, your way back home.
  • Drink more water.
  • Take your mind herbs – your nervous system is likely a whirling mess (especially if it’s Autumn) Take care of your brain and it will take care of you.
  • Long showers & candle light & self massage – you’re craving the sweet taste.. but really you know you’re craving love, touch, and warmth.
  • Don’t forget to feel – stop chasing “info” & “facts” and just fucking feel. “Know what you know, and if you don’t know something, know that its okay because it is the truth.” – Melody Beattie
  • Remember this is temporary – this may be what is true for you right now, but it is not all there is. “The truth will set you free…but first it will piss you off.” – Gloria Steinem
  • Dance.
  • Drink Chamomile tea.
  • Eat food that is Alive – that means there is still a shred of life in it, it hasn’t been processed to death or over cooked. Life energy gives way to life energy – if you are feeling dead inside, don’t add more dead stuff to the mix.
  • Write – just write, even if its just a stupid list telling you what you already know (especially if what you know is gratitude.)
  • Reach out – write a letter, go to a meeting, send the same text to dozens of people in a desperate, honest, abrupt attempt to know you aren’t alone – send the message you would like to receive. We get what we give. (Hey _____ (one or all/any people I know) Hope you are doing awesome shit and taking good care of yourself. I really appreciate you.)
  • Go outside – or at the very least, LOOK outside. (the natural world is honest and longing to show you what’s real)
  • Don’t (just don’t) expect to know anything right now – this includes: what you’re doing, who you are, or where you’re going… “And I’ll be the most beautiful in this moment… or the most cynical and strange, I can always rearrange, I can always find myself just how I am.”
  • Deep belly breathing (deep breaths for a young (wo)man learning)
  • Stick to as many of your rituals as you can. (remember gratitude first thing in the A.M. work when it’s time to work, eat when it’s time to eat, dance when it’s time to dance, honor your quiet time rule after dinner, take your vitamins, brush your teeth, consult your planner)
  • Ponder the notion that Life is just a ride at some cosmic amusement park…
  • Find your most extreme feeling and counter it – If you feel cold (cold hands, cold thoughts, cold heart) give yourself warmth (hot tea, warm stories, self massage) If you’re feeling crazy – go to what/where you feel stability (a straight line, hang out with rocks, tree pose) If you feel unorganized and full of too much distraction – go to what/where you feel is quiet or systematic (your planner, the library, sweep the floors) etc.. “Immerse yourself in the energy of what you most desire” – Hiro Boga
  • Go to your guides – trust in signs, talk less & listen more, see what your superstars are saying – open your favorite book of daily meditations or poetry to a random page and read it.
  • Remember gratitude.
  • Fall face first into the pillows and scream – then burn some sage and say “thanks.”
  • Stop taking yourself so seriously – for today, remove every label you have ever applied to yourself except HUMAN and STUDENT.
  • Commit to asking yourself these questions a week from now – for now just collect the information you’ll use to answer them.
  • Listen to your PMS playlist -Songs for when you need to relax and remember that you are AMAZING and life is about learning and growing.

“So many times I’ve wondered where I’ve gone, and how I found my way back in.” – Norah Jones

With Love & Light,

Your truest Self

5 Ways to Enjoy a Red Light

The world is in such a hurry these days. In a society running on Starbucks and work deadlines, it is tough sometimes not to get caught up in the “go, go, go” of every-day-life. I think that red lights have been the bad guys for too long. I think red lights and stop signs and traffic jams all deserve a second thought. And that thought is this: Is it really so bad to pause every once in a while? Is it just awful to have a second to think, to reflect, or to slow down long enough to notice the extraordinary sunset sweeping across the sky? Don’t you ever find yourself wishing you could just escape for a minute? Here is what red lights have been trying to tell us for a century now and five ways to fully appreciate their potential.

1. Take in the stillness.  Take a second and look around and feel the world rush past you. Be a part of the trees or the buildings, the things that are being still, and appreciate life from their perspective. The masters have always told us to go with the flow, but that doesn’t mean losing yourself in it. You deserve to have moments all your own. Be your own flow. Take a deep breath… and then Go.

2. Be grateful.  It always feels good to remember all the things we are thankful for, especially if we are having a bad day or stressing out. You can’t help but stop at a red light (well legally), so even if you are in the biggest hurry of them all, you have permission from traffic laws everywhere to slow down and take a breather. Take advantage of it, relax, name a few reasons you are happy to be doing what you are doing. Think about what you enjoy about your life and what you are fortunate to have.

3. Be friendly.  Notice the people around you. Smile at a stranger. Study your fellow beings. Barge into their lives a little and let them know they are not alone. Making someone smile is a simple gesture that often takes you further than you could ever imagine. ” I don’t even know you, I don’t know what you do for a living or what church you go to or whether you’re a Stealers fan or not, but I’m going to smile at you.” How could that not feel awesome?

5. Quiet your mind. I’m sure we can all relate to streaming and unyielding thinking marathons that just never seem to stop and yet never seem to get us anywhere. You’re just thinking about nothing and everything at the same time and maybe you feel like you wish you could just turn your brain off. Your favorite song is on the radio and you can’t even enjoy it ’cause it’s so loud between your ears. This is when you stop and simply think to yourself “I wonder what my next thought will be?…” (The only way to know if it works is to try it) But I would not suggest doing this while driving, which is why red lights are wonderful!

5. Take care of your body. Red lights are the perfect time to do those little things you should do and always forget to like drink water or do your Kegel exercises! Whenever we do anything nice for our body it sends a message of security and value to all our moving parts and working systems. Cellular biologist, Bruce Lipton, says “our cells really are sentient entities that are trying to work together for our good.” When we send our body messages of love and security our cells take that message and run with it which enables our systems to operate more optimally. Take good care of your body, it will take good care of you.  Also, Doing your Kegel exercises strengthen the PC muscles, helps in treating urinary incontinence and can increase sexual gratification. So many red light wins!

So, instead of being impatient and stressed or bored and stuck with nothing to do but read the bumper stickers on the car in front of you, you now have five productive mind, body, and soul practices to enrich your life one red light at a time. See you out there!