This Tenacity

Nature’s tenacity though disruptive at times, is also purely Life-giving. A strong pulsed continuum. We are made of and within a Universe that inhales potential and exhales Life. 

This morning these words land in my mind as my reluctance is masked in sleepiness. And push my tired spirit back into the wakeful world, uncertain reality. Although now I think about it, and I am not sure this day is anymore uncertain than all other days and times. Things change constantly, this is life. 

What carries us today is also what has and always will. Our breath. The in and out. Our perspective, our focus. Our ability to wait. And in the waiting find joys and thankfulness. Our courage. To reach for each other. And be the love and compassion and laughter that is needed.

Perhaps we hunker down. Connect. Play. Tell our stories. Perhaps we reinvent ourselves. Declutter our hearts and minds. Take down the old and build a new. 

Perhaps we’ll turn words (ordinary ones that pack power like “peace”, “health”, “clarity”. ) into mantras that pull us like an inhale into the light filled centers of ourselves. Perhaps we come to stand at a window that dwells within the Light Palace of our soul and look out to find portraits of personal purpose and creativity.

Now we can feel the True Nature that holds us and propels us through this time and space. Now deep breaths of cosmic air pull power and light from our holy centers and an exhale pours it over our heads like a fresh soothing element that drains into all our dark or worried spaces.

Breath after breath after breath is like this until we start to feel the weight and taste of this soothing element. Until it makes a sound like the whispers of our mantras. We feel the power of our Greatest most Resilient self. This is the ancient, primal, promising Nature that carries us. 

Gratitude 1/1/20

1. The rush of aliveness that comes with my spring phase.

2. Chosen silence.

3. I’m excited to breath deeply and push all the passion bubbling up inside me through my veins and finger tips and toes and beyond.

4. I’m excited about the possibilities a day does bring. The blessings and gratitude and understanding or just the light that will be shining somewhere that I feel even if I cannot see.

5. I’m excited for coffee and stretches and snacks and vitamins and making offerings of love and affection to my Earth bound body.

6. I’m excited for a late night and late morning.

7. I’m excited for meditations and visualizations that open windows and doors in the dusty, dark, and lonely rooms of my mind and let freshness and light flood in.

8. I’m excited for me. And all the time and energy and love and peace that was inherited in my seed. I’m thankful for the ways it makes me live.

9. I’m excited I might share this with someone and they could feel a connection with me and move into an empty place in my life that I’ve been saving for them.

10. I’m excited for the magic and wonder and unique texture of this day. And how it can hold me no matter what and I will not sink through or break it’s seams with any amount of my human concern. It will just hold me sure and steady and a little bit rhythmic like you hold a young thing, swaying left to right and pressing it’s little head to your chest so that it can hear and feel the strong beat of your willingness and mentorship.

11. Thank you to the Being or Beings that have picked me up and rocked me all my life.

Flow Rituals

I know I desire a slow form of living this year. So that I can notice more and pay tribute to more and let myself flow.

I’m learning what slows me and delights me. Quietude. Sometimes writing my way through noisy storms in my mind. Some times just sitting, watching, breathing.

I want to pause more I guess. When I’m enjoying something I want to stretch it out. Make it last, collect and keep a piece of its essence for fuel.

Ways to keep my flow:

Brain dump lists

Being outside

Candle light in darkness

Dancing

Folding laundry

Gratitude lists

Posture and breath practices

Push ups

Slow sex

Sweet savored sips or bites

Water breaks

Yoga

Ps. Do you have stay in the flow rituals? Please share.

Giving is giving. And I made this for you!

Hi!

I made this virtual present for you… Its a list of some of my most favorite things, tools, resources, and inspiration from this year. If you feel the urge to share some of yours, I’m so down for that. We could create a new favorite things tradition! We could change each other’s lives! 

So here it is: 

Ashwagandha – An Ayurvedic herb AKA Indian Ginseng. Its an Adaptogen supplement that promotes & supports vitality, strength, sleep, Adrenal health, calming the mind & combating stress. I put a half tsp in my coffee every morning it’s also good in warm milk and honey a few hours before bed. 

Bullet Journaling – A simple analog method for organizing ideas, task lists, and everything else. I’ve created one of these each quarter of the year. Everything from my monthly calendars to journal entries are in one composition book making it easy to keep track of and use as a record and writing companion. If you like designing your own planners you might love this method too.  

Blue Lotus Chai – I’m a chai drinking machine in the winter and this spiced black tea is the perfect afternoon pick-me-up. It’s just so yummy with some vanilla creamer or eggnog.

Alison Armstrong’s Celebrating Partnership workshop recording on Audible. A’s work has changed all my relationships this year not just with my partner but with my children and friends and coworkers and everyone! I am so grateful for her passion and insight. 

Dr. Teals – Epsom salt and essential oil-infused body wash and massage oil. So goood! Give yourself a soak or massage with this stuff and you’ll be feeling like your own BFF full of gratitude and self-love.

This song Everlasting Light by the Black Keys.  

Hoopla Digital Library – I live off this free app. You can barrow free audiobooks, movies, and ebooks by setting up a free account with your library card and downloading the app on your mobile device.

This song Let Myself Flow by The Avener. The Avener Pandora station is now my go to when I am craving bass beats and chill vibes.  

Manifestation Maps – a list/meditative practice that clarifies and leads you towards your deepest desires.

Wins Celebration – This year I added a new ritual to my monthly calendar. Around the time of the new moon, I gather with a friend to share and celebrate a list of wins from the previous cycle. 

All the Love in the Universe, 

Kenzie

Ps. I hope one or more of these things is like a gift to you. Please feel free to share yours in the comments! It’ll be like a virtual New Years’ party!

Body of Light

I do feel better now. The last few days my mind has been tripping over all kinds of things. Searching. Taste testing. Falling from heights I did not realize were inside of me.

Then I decide to go home – The simple but often forgotten practice of rediscovering my body. It’s a slow, patient, process that I don’t always believe there is time for. But I can’t forget it’s power. I bask in how it went. Grabbing toes, turning on the little muscles that make my ass and thighs shake. Twitching, counting, dancing, having little contests with myself. The smell of my hair as it tickles my nose in a long held pose, hints of sage and cinnamon. The stretch and lengthening that my breath creates, against the beat of rhythms that turn the lights down in my mind, make all the rough spots smooth, and the uncertain spots strong.

Remembering that I have a body always helps with the anxiety that comes this time of year. Remembering My roots, remembering I belong in this place, in this vessel that is governed by universal laws. I am not “on the outside” of anything. This shelter I call my body is made of the same elements that have produced planets, including the one I live on. All the lifeforms here (including me) are bits of her flesh. The same processes that propel the moon and stars move me through time and space as well. I am part of the body of life. I’m a sliver of the infinite.

And it’s all going to be ok.

Then there is nothing “too” big anymore. Things are small and put in there proper proportions. Human drama = minuscule, loneliness = impossible, Life = unstoppable, this moment = everything I need.

I know I am loved now. I can relax into unfathomable billows of love. Because this body, this planet, this Life are propelled by a kind of life-giving love. And it shows me how to be the one who loves me. Because Love is embedded in this “going” we call time. It is the ancient root that tendrils us all.

Ps. This song.

Because I want to

I Know contentment.
Reverence.
Wonder.

I Know the power
of my varied edges and sides.
I Know they are just right.
They are serving me.

I Know patience.
I Know its waves of anticipation
also, its warm incubation.

I Know my Source.
It’s endless loving essence. 
Its assurance, it’s ability, and delight.

I know because I want to. 

Ps. Here’s a similar piece called What I Know (A Birthday edition)

And now, move.

Sometimes I wish I were different already.
That I could untie the knots in my mind, on demand.
Make my limbs reach more readily for the love that I crave.

But there’s this ravine it seems, between me and the creature I wish to be.
There’s some big long journey  involved?

…Or is there?
Is that just an excuse, a story of resistance?
Did words not create this story to begin with? As they do so many other things? As they will my freedom.

Is all I desire simply one step away?
My untrusting mind frozen in place?
I wish I could thaw it.
Perhaps I can..
Perhaps I just need to speak the warm words that will melt my trepidation.

Say:

“Thaw.

Fear not! – where your next step will land you.

Know that you are only everything you say you are.”

Say:

“I am Veracious Love.”

And now, move.

All I need.

Tonight I drove home from work in a snow storm. The world looking like a Lite-Brite smeared behind cold glass. The snow flakes just pouring down under street lights in every direction. Sugar rain from an endless source.

And I thought to myself…
“Abundance.”

And then I felt that each snowflake that landed on my car brought something that I needed into my life. Each a solution, a blessing, or surprise.

One for a peaceful house when I get home. One for words that untie the tangles in my soul. One for the exercise my body is craving. One for every single person who will feed me their soul-chips.

Countless specks for love and laughter. Some for the music that soothes me. Some for joys, some for strength, some for ease. Some for the way through uncertainty.

On and on it went. A lifetime of everything I need landing on me. Even the things I can’t name yet or things that may never have a name. Even the things that have come and I’ve forgotten them but they left a kind of peace.

Endless, endless, endless, support in each landing. Until soon each crystal drew a whisper from my love drenched heart.

A soft and happy “Thanks.”

For Kim, Priestess of Pronoia – who taught me this concept with falling leaves.

5 Ways to be Sick Without Grossing Everyone Out

Let’s just dive right in today, because I’m sick and have less energy to write a creative introduction on being a sick person, who feels gross and more importantly looks gross.

  1. Attempt to get better, don’t just whine about being sick.

Attempt to get better as soon as you notice your symptoms and don’t just try to cover them up and wait it out. Meaning don’t just take a bunch of Sudafed and continue to drink diet coke all day and eat junk food for the duration of your illness. There is nothing wrong with finding relief in the cold and flu aisle of the grocery store, but be sure you also hit the produce and tea section. And don’t forget the honey to add to tea and toast! Honey has antiviral and antibiotic properties, soothes sore throats and aids in healing. Replace the diet coke and coffee with tea and water. “What about my caffeine fix?” you might ask. You don’t need any because you should be resting! (also an important aspect of attempting to get better) Teas with Echinacea, Elderflower, Lemon, and Cinnamon not only bring relief to your symptoms but also strengthen your immune system. If people see you taking care of yourself, and not just staggering around sneezing in your nachos, they’ll be more inclined to look towards you with an attitude of compassion rather than revulsion.

2. Smile.

Even if you are raspy and your face is oozing, a smile is going to look and feel wonderful! People like happy people. Be as happy as you can muster. You’re going to need the added happy points on your side anyway, to counter your seemingly rude avoidance behavior, that is standard for being sick like, not shaking people’s hands or giving hugs and kisses good-bye. A smile also gives your face a nicer feature to focus on other than your crusted, chapped nose, and seeping pink eyes. And, for your benefit, smiles also help you heal faster! Facts!

3. Pass it off as allergies.

You may find yourself in a situation where it is really important that you do not come off as a disgusting sick person. For example, you may have a job interview you can’t cancel or run into that guy or girl you really want to “get to know better.” In this case, there is no other option but to avidly deny your illness. Most allergies produce similar symptoms, however, you are not as gross seeming when “it’s just allergies.” Maybe because allergies are usually temporary and don’t indicate you may be an unhealthy slob with a poor immune system. It’s not even really a decision for most people to reject you, it’s just a primitive instinct not to work with or sleep with a sicko. So, in this situation, you want to lie and smile as much as you can.

4. Dress nicer.

Like the smiling technique, this is also a mode for distraction. The nicer you look the more appealing you will be for sure. In addition, your sleek attire, perfect hair, and makeup distract from your profuse sniffling and phlegmy breathing that makes you sound like a purring kitten. It also makes you look more important. Everyone loves important people. It doesn’t matter that you’re sick because you do so much for the world and are so fancy and nice to look at. In their minds, you probably just caught something from working so hard or such close proximity with the sick and underprivileged children you are building a school for somewhere.

5. Play hard-to-get.

You don’t want to lead on that you are sick or out of commission to that dreamy date or sexy lover of yours. So instead of risking turn-off or rejection, you change your game a little. You must become a mysterious tease, that only gives just enough and has epic plans for future escapades. You’re looking at some serious foreplay here, which as you can imagine is not necessarily a bad thing. You have time to recover from your repulsive illness and they have time to fall even more lustfully in love with you. Win-win! You’re sexy, not gross.

It’s more often we are tempted to pretend that we are sick, not vice versa. Obviously, it is just as imperative that we know how to “play well” as it is to “play sick.” My heart goes out to all the fellow sickos reading this. Take care of yourself… I’ll see you out there.

5 Ways to Wake up Without Caffeine

We all have to get up sometime. Some days it’s easier than others. We wake up we stumble through the house like Zombies to the shrine our coffee pot lives on or the instant water heater and stacks of black tea. The caffeine kiss bringing us back to life like “true-loves “ lips. Then there are those of us that can make it up and out of the house fully functional on just the notion that caffeine is waiting loyally for us in the near future, on the way to class or work , that favorite coffee hut or faithful gas-station energy drink. For some this is a tactic in motivation, to assure that we get up at all and go to that very early destination. I’ve used this tactic myself and it was very effective until that fateful day, that I kept missing my opportunity and my coffee break never came. The coffee hut was robbed and/or burned down, I was too frustrated and indecisive to pick a new coffee hut, “they might not get my cryptic drink order right and then that would really be it” (The only thing worse than no coffee is the wrong coffee!), can’t go to holiday or micky-dees cause I’m too much of a coffee snob.. So I had to face it.. It wasn’t going to happen that day and I felt defeated.. “This is ridiculous, I’m a monster,” I thought. I have to try to quite caffeine..again (Like I have done hundreds of other times.) I am not saying I’ll never enjoy a London Fog or Soy Cappuccino again or slug a cold cup of black coffee desperately after losing track of time. Now I enjoy caffeine but am not depending on it to make or break my day. That’s where the following five ways to wake up without caffeine came into play:
1. Sex. We all know its works. Whether it’s partner-ed or solo, sex spikes our brain full of dopamine and oxytocin which puts us in a good mood, gets the blood flowing and the brain churning. Plus it gives you that happy “gotcha-some glow.”

2. Yoga. Start your day with five minutes of yoga. It calms your nervous system, focuses your mind and revs up your metabolism. You can do this in your bed or on the floor. Here is an easy A.M. Sequence:Seated meditation, seated side reach (each side), seated palm press, standing palm press. This gives you that moment right when you wake up to choose what you want to think about and focus on rather than just throwing yourself out of bed and straight into your racing thoughts and plans for the day. Rebalance, refocus and recharge. Then get out there and own the day!

3. Music. I made myself a Good-Morning Sunshine mix. And sometimes before the clothes even go on that jam is bumping out of the cd player, gets you moving and grooving and screaming the lyrics to the soundtrack of your favorite memories, triumphs and empowering messages!

4. Shower. Drag your stiff body into a nice hot shower first thing and let your body wake up in a gradual, soothing way. Practice self-care, make a gratitude list, or set your intentions for the day, make those shifts in attitude and thinking that will bring you up and feed your passions rather than negative notions that drag you down and stress you out. Start off clean, in body and mind.

5. Aromatherapy . Use aromatherapy in the form of essentials oils, a couple drops at the bottom of the shower, or an aromatic body wash or facial cleanser to awaken your senses and energize your mind. Or if you don’t have time to shower try an essential oils roll on or make your own. Citrus, Eucalyptus and rosemary are all great scents that motivate the nervous system.

These are only a few ways to start your day in a positive non-addictive-assholish way! What are some of your morning routines that make it easy to avoid or live without the caffeine?